I am a sucker for as seen on TV products.
At last count, I own a Malibu Pilates chair, the Pedi-Paws nail trimming system, the Shed Ender for pet grooming, a Ped-Egg, ProActive, green bags and bread bags. (I don't actually buy most of my as seen on TV products off the television since most of them can be found at Bed, Bath & Beyond, and I always have a coupon for that store, but that's really neither here nor there.)
And despite some people's opinions, I'm also considering Aqua Globes, Hercules Hooks and trading in my old gold jewelry for cash. (Those gold-seekers own the refinery so they can cut out the middle man and put more money in your pocket!)
For awhile in the late '90s, I even wanted a pressure cooking system (despite the fact that I lived in a dorm room) and Jose Eber Secret Hair, but thankfully, no one would give me much of a credit line back then.
I do draw the line at the Xpress 101, though. Sure, I love the idea of having meals in just four minutes, but the fact that all the food comes out looking the same just freaks me out. A calzone, stuffed chicken breast and lemon pie shouldn't be identical when they hit the table. It's just not right.
Now, you may think that I have problem (and you might be right), but my devotion to as seen on TV products is yet another thing I blame on my insomnia. I also think that I can attribute my Ebay addiction, love of all B movies and the belief I briefly held in the winter of 1999 that I could become fluent in Spanish by watching enough Telemundo to my insomnia.
There's not a whole lot to do between 1:00 a.m. and 6:00 a.m. (and this was particularly true in the pre-Internet days) other than watch television. And that's what certain people are counting on.
Here's who wants your attention when you can't sleep and probably aren't thinking clearly: the infomercials with products, the infomercials with motivational tapes about anxiety and depression and the Mormons. (No offense meant to the Mormons. I've seen a whole lot of commercials for the LDS church in the wee hours of the morn'. It's just true.)
Insomnia is bad enough -- the frustration of wanting to sleep but not being able to, knowing you'll be exhausted the next day at school/work -- and when you add eight potential hours of shopping to that, it's just no good. No one needs bags under their eyes and the shame that comes with looking your mailman in the eye as he hands you a box with "Time Life" as the return address.
